When a new mother is
suffering from post natal exhaustion, it is important
that she saves what energy she has to care for herself
and her new baby. She needs to prioritize so that those
things, that are not so important in the first few months
after the birth of her new baby, can fall away. In other
words, she needs a postpartum plan. The immediate family,
extended family, neighbors and even hired help can be
included in this plan:
• The secret of survival during this time is
low expectations and setting realistic goals. The
baby needs to be fed and changed as often as necessary
and the new mother needs to eat, sleep and shower
whenever she needs to.
• Preparing meals, cleaning the house and entertaining
guests are not high up on such a plan.
• Friends and relatives often ask what they
can do to help and this is your chance to enlist such
help and most people are only too happy to give assistance.
Suggestions are looking after the baby while you take
a break, preparing the odd meal for you or carrying
out a household chore which has been neglected.
• You need to limit the amount of visitors just
dropping in or who will need entertaining. If friends
and relations come and visit, they must be the ones
who are going to help out.
• Enlist the help of your husband or partner
too. He can take turns with a night feed sometimes
either with a bottle of formula or breast milk which
you can express earlier on. An uninterrupted night’s
sleep from time to time will make a big difference.
There are many other ways your husband or partner
can help out as well. Sometimes they may feel pushed
aside as the new mother tends to the needs of the
baby so it is important that they are actively involved
in their new baby’s life and complimented on
their efforts.
• As soon as you have established some sort
of routing, try to schedule at least one activity
per day just for you. This could be a massage, time
to read a book or a good soaking in the tub.
• If your husband or partner is working hard
and involved with baby care, then he also needs some
time off on a regular basis even if it is just watching
a game with a couple of friends.
• Then as a couple, you need to get back in
to the habit of just having some time together –
try to make a weekly “date” that you do
something together while someone else is minding your
baby. This time together alone is an important ingredient
to a lasting marriage or partnership.
• Again, once you are feeling more rested and
confident, take time to interact with your girlfriends
once more and especially those who also have babies
or young children. They can be a tremendous source
of information and help and you can swap hints and
experiences.
• Join a mothers and babies group so that you
can widen your circle of friends. You also absorb
new ideas on baby care which can only be to the advantage
of both you and your baby. Your baby learns to socialize
with others of his age.
Having a baby is an important milestone in your life
and you will want to look back on those early years
with fondness and not just as a time of always feeling
too tired to cope. So don’t be shy to enlist
the help of those around you to help you get through.
