Is the Glass Half-Empty or Half-Full?
According to Jon Gordon, who wrote the book The No Complaining Rule, the more we complain and the more we are surrounded by those who complain (on a chronic level) the more unhappy we become. He added that the harms of complaining could even be so severe that they would be comparable to those of secondhand smoke.
When moaners and complainers are constantly around you
The more surrounded by complaining we are, the more negative we tend to think. Every time we complain our brain works to rewire itself, making the same reactions much more likely to occur over and over again and perhaps forcing us to get trapped in the same mindset as time passes.
While those who complain all the time might not be able to see how negative they are, it rubs off onto us. We might try to help them or offer advice – but it’s never enough. While the occasional complaining might be fine – when it becomes constant rather than letting go of stress, it creates more. It increases the production of cortisol. When this happens, we end up facing blood pressure raises and glucose spikes. Too much production of cortisol can increase our risks of several serious health issues.
What to do when you are having the life sucked out of you?
Being an “absorber” of other people’s emotions and energy can affect you mentally, physically and spiritually.
Water is a natural way of grounding – have a shower in the morning and imagine the water washing away all of your negative energy down the drain. Drinking plenty of water on waking up is a another suggestion.
Meditation is another way. Spend five minutes each morning meditating, and focusing on your breath. Breathe in for 7 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, then exhale for 7 seconds, and hold for another 4 seconds before repeating.
Actual grounding is when you sit on or touch the earth. Walk on the ground in bare feet. Going into nature is one of the most grounding experiences a person can have.
Know your boundaries and speak up when your boundaries are crossed! Should you find yourself saying no more often than yes to a particular person, ask yourself if this person is really helping you grow or just holding you back? Remind yourself that it is not your responsibility to continually keep fixing another person’s problems.
Take good care of yourself
Part of that taking care of yourself is to follow the grounding suggestions above. Take an Epsom salt bath or just have a lazy morning. Everyone needs some Me Time. Love yourself first and foremost, and let go of those who bring you down. If we absorb the energy of a negative person, they may walk away from the interaction feeling better but we could walk away feeling worse.
When you feel confident and love yourself, you actually gain emotional strength and endurance. With this, you will be able to put an end to any vicious energy-sucking cycle.
When we stop absorbing unwanted emotions, we’ll have more energy to accomplish the dreams and goals we set out for ourselves.